There’s a lot of confusion about what memoir is, and what it isn’t.

In the past two decades, the rise of the celebrity memoir has further muddled the waters.

That’s because celebrity memoirs blur the line of what memoir is (and what it isn’t).

Memoirs like Becoming by Michelle Obama or Spare by Prince Harry are actually autobiographies, not memoirs. They span the author’s entire life, from birth to the present moment.

A memoir, by contrast, covers a particular timeframe, theme or transformative event.

Do you see the difference?

Now, here’s where things get tricky.

Prince Harry’s Spare and Michele Obama’s Becoming are much more compelling than traditional autobiographies because they employ the same storytelling elements as fiction. Meaning they read like novels (vs. factual autobiographies about historical figures).

To make things more complicated, most celebrity memoirs are written by ghostwriters! This is why publishers can crank out celebrity memoirs so quickly – because they’re written by professional writers with decades of experience. (J.R. Moehringer, author of The Tender Bar, was the ghostwriter for Spare as well as Andre Agassi’s Open.)

Here’s what’s important to remember: unless you’re famous, your reader won’t want to read about your entire life, from childhood to present.

Memoir for the Rest of Us

Since the rest of us aren’t famous, we need to shape our memoir in a way that’s compelling for the reader.

To do this, it’s essential that we determine your memoir’s scope.

What you leave out is just as important as what you leave in.

If you try to pack in too much, you do your story a disservice. And you weaken what you have.

This is one of the quickest and easiest ways to lose your reader.

What if You Want to Write an Autobiography for Your Loved Ones?

Great! What we do in this case is help you shape your material in a way that’s compelling for your loved ones.

Because no one wants to read 200 pages of “this happened, then this happened.” But we can still write a compelling memoir for our loved ones by a) discerning which stories to include (and which to leave out) and b) crafting and shaping them in a compelling way.

The best memoirs effectively employ the craft and technique of memoir: characterization, scenes, setting, sensory details and dialogue. These are the elements that bring your reader into the story.

That’s ONE of your building blocks.

Here are two often overlooked, but incredibly important building blocks:

• Your book’s structure

• Your character’s growth / transformation

Now here’s the thing:

These two elements are tied together.

AND they’re hard to figure out.

As such, they often the last thing a writer addresses.

But the success – and impact! – of your memoir is directly tied to these two aspects.

I cannot overemphasis how important this is.

If you don’t have a strong structure and a clear transformation for your character, no amount of editing or workshopping will help.

That’s why this is where we START in all of my offerings.

It’s hugely important foundational work.

And it’s the best bang for your buck.

That’s why we help you clarify your structure as well as discern your character’s growth and transformation in the Memoir Mastery program.

This work isn’t something you can quickly check off your list.

That’s because it’s an iterative process. And it’s deep work.

Finding the answer to these two questions requires a curiosity and a willingness to dig deep. To explore who you are – who you used to be, and how you became the person who you are today.

THIS is how you’ll write a book that inspires – and ultimately changes – your reader.

As a bonus, writing memoir also allows you to reclaim your story and step into a more authentic (and more empowered) sense of self.

And THAT is magic.

One More Thing

A compelling memoir doesn’t just tell your reader what happened.

It creates an invitation for the reader to enter your story, and come out of it transformed.

Let me say that again:

The best memoirs offer the reader a transformative journey.

Memoirs like Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, Saeed Jones’ How We Fight for Our Lives, Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, Tara Westover’s Educated, Lori Gottlieb’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, Stephanie Foo’s What My Bones Know.

To create that type of memoir requires deep inner work.

That’s why we place so much emphasis on safety and support in our community.

Because you can’t do this work alone.

Having a trauma-informed guide helps. Teachings help.

Community is also important. People who have your back. People you trust.

This is why all of my offerings are anchored in small groups. Memoir Mastery is built around a core set of video teachings, yes, but the real magic happens on the live calls.

That’s where we apply the concepts to your particular book. It’s where we roll up our sleeves and get into the weeds of what you’re struggling with.

It’s also where we come together to support each other. Where we witness each other. And help hold each other’s projects.

Make no mistake: writing a memoir is profound and deep spiritual work.

It’s MUCH easier with the right support.

Warmly,

Tanja

If you'd like to learn how I can support you, you can learn about my offerings here.

Questions?

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